8 Careers matatu touts could qualify for

It is likely that any african reading this will be familiar with matatu's. Matatu's are synonymous with public transport throughout the continent, though they may go  by different names according to each country. For example, when I lived in Nigeria, I learned that is was known as a Danfo, and in Tanzania, it goes by Dalala.

So fellow Africans will also be familiar with the drama and sometimes trauma that accompanies rides within these modes of transport.

**Just to briefly explain to any non-African - A matatu is basically a minivan that is used as public transport. The quality of them is often questionable, but it does take you from point A to point B. Why complain?**



So the thought occurred to me last week as I was being ushered into a matatu, that simply by judging the qualities we see, there are many jobs I feel matatu touts could do. Here's a list I compiled of 8 careers matatu tout's could quality for:

1. Salesman/woman:

            The evidence is clear to most matatu passengers. Touts could be excellent salespeople. They attract your attention (the constant shouting), convince you to ride in their matatu (by whatever means), and assure you of your destination (ask if the matatu can drop you at X, and the matatu tout will always say yes without exception. Never mind that where they drop you may be X plus 500 meters)

2. Professional Gymnasts or contortionists:

            This you would need to see to believe. I have seen matatu touts do amazing things with their body. For one, making themselves squeeze into an overly full matatu by sitting on the back of chairs, on metal parts in matatu’s, sitting with their butts out of the window etc. I have also seen matatu touts balance themselves with such poise and grace half in and half out of a matatu with the door wide open. And yes, the matatu was in motion.

4. Orators of any kind

            Just stand at a matatu stage (bus stop) to understand why. There will be touts shouting at the top of their lungs their different destinations and the price of the ride. Again, trying to convince passangers to board their matatu’s. What’s so incredible is the size of the lungs in some of these people. They can drown the sound of cars. I considered putting this down with singer, but then I am unsure of the quality of their singing voices, so lets just leave it at public speaking.

5. Bankers:

            Matatu touts love your money. So much so that they can conveniently forget to give you change. No profit for you, but profit for them. Also, though it may not happen all the time, matatu touts change their rates depending on the time, but sometimes even halfway to your destination, after you have been promised a certain rate. They do this simply to make profit. *Libor scandal sound familiar? ...Anyone?*

6. Government employed kidnappers/CIA-like agents

            These guys can sometimes pick you up and put you in their vehicles. At least, that’s what it feels like. Call it enthusiasm, but the touts can physically escort you into their vehicles, especially when competing with other touts. If you are the only person at a stage, and suddenly 3 matatu’s pull up… pray.

7. Politicians

            They are not much different. (See Bankers)

8. Safari Rally Drivers

            This may seem to be more pertinent to the driver, but I have seen touts and driver’s exchange places which makes me believe that every driver is a tout and every tout a driver, just perhaps on a rotational basis. So if you’ve seen a matatu driver drive, you know that they can move at breakneck speeds, and are even willing to forge their own path where there is no road. Hence, they should just stick to off-road driving since they love it so much.

So there you have it. These are the joys of being African. But I have to say that despite all this, it is still an experience people (even tourists) should have, at least once. Words cannot describe how entertaining some of those rides can be as well. Oh, the people you will meet...

If you have any of your own matatu drama experiences, or perhaps a career I hadn’t considered, feel free to share!

Kenyan Airport Set on Fire

What started as a modest fire on Wednesday morning at around 5.00am quickly developed into a blazing inferno that engulfed almost the entire arrivals section of the Jomo Kenyatta Airport. The origins of the fire still remain unknown. However, as I was watching NTV this morning on my way to work, I saw a manageable problem grow into a huge economic disaster. By the time I reached my workplace at 9.00am, it was evident that most of the arrivals section of the airport was badly singed.

So how did something so moderate erupt into such a great catastrophe? According to the news report, the fault was with the Fire department which took a long time to respond to the alert. This is worrying for travellers and people who rely on the safety assurances of the police and fire department – in one word, everybody. Shouldn’t there have been some standby firefighters in the airport who could have made a quicker response? What justifies such a delay? Did they just believe that the fire, which was originally so small, could not become a great problem?

17 HOURS LATER

The airport has since resumed its domestic flights. However, firefighters were still on the scene, trying to extinguish what remained of the fire. Most of the flights were diverted to the Mombasa, Kisumu, Tanzania and Uganda airports. 

LETS COUNT THE LOSSES

There is primarily the obvious loss of millions of shillings in infrastructure. To reconstruct the area will take a substantial amount of money, and really, its anyone’s guess where that will come from considering the fact that the government is still fishing for money through bills that should increase taxes to fund various ongoing problems (I mean projects).

To keep it short, other consequences include:

• Inconvenience to passangers and travelling business people
• Inconvenience to trade by flight
• Aviation stakeholders and potential stock market losses
• Estimated millions lost from businesses in the airport (and potentiall business days lost)
• Fruit and Flower farmers will probably feel the pinch a bit
• Inconvenience for students like me, hoping to fly abroad to resume studies (though probably the smallest problem of all)
• Tourism losses 

The tourism sector poses a major potential loss according to the media. What makes this situation worse is the fact that August is the season of the Wildebeest migration; one of the great wonders of the world, and a significant contributor to the economy. Every year, a myriad of tourists flock to the Mara to watch this great spectacle. Having been there last year, I can assure you that it is a great attraction, and even getting a room in any resort can be a hassle. But how many tourists would you imagine are now in the process of cancelling their Kenyan visits?  

SOLUTIONS? FOR ONE, CRITICAL THINKING IN DESIGN

 As an aspiring architect, I had to touch on this. There was a report on Citizen TV at 9.00pm that one of the causes of the quick spread of the fire was the bitumen on the ceiling of the airport. Bitumen, also known as asphalt is used for waterproofing roofs. However, this event shows that perhaps we should be thinking of other sustainable and safe ways of designing, using non-flammable materials, which are not sourced from crude oil.Another problem – and yes, its actually a design problem – was the fact that the airport was designed to accommodate 2.5 million people, but actually hosts 6 million people a year. That’s bound to cause a safety hazard. It puts more people in danger, but at the same time has the potential of making it more difficult to deal with such problems in a hasty manner. Yet, truthfully, people probably never noticed. Aside from the occasional long queues and check in time (depending on time and flight), this has not been a significant problem worth mentioning until now. I’m just wondering why, if the number of people increased, the safety measures did not mirror that growth. Simple things like more fire extinguishers, hoses, etc, could have probably made a difference. When I saw the picture of the fire at its inception, it looked no bigger than a Honda CRV (I use that comparison because that’s the make of my mums car, and I explained it to her like so). 
However, the biggest blessing in all of this is that no casualties were reported. My hope is that it remains the same. There have been plans to expand the airport, but that has taken a significant amount of time, and this setback is bound to, well, set us back some more. I can only hope that we have learned from this mistake, and will take greater precautions ensuring the public’s safety.  

Nevertheless, 
Stay Sweet

xxx

A star is born: Prince of Cambridge

This is probably the most famous baby in the world right now

Last night, millions of people - included myself - crowded to watch the first sighting of the royal baby... and what a commotion it was. Gun salutes, bells ding-donging, people cheering...

After a healthily long wait, the family finally emerged

...and am I the only one who noticed how they kept saying, 'in 5 minutes', 'in 10 minutes', 'any minute now', 'shouldn't be long' every so often? I seriously nearly got into an argument with my mother as we were waiting for them to come. She wanted to change the channel simply because she was tired of staring at a wooden door. So I actually missed the exact moment they came out, but I got to see hundreds of reruns. 

I must say, they looked so charming

Also another thing to note is the similarity between Kate and the late Princess Diana. Perhaps it was coincidence (probably not) but the new mother wore a very similar dress to that which Princess Diana wore to show off her son...

 Congratulations to the new parents. 

Stay sweet

xxx

Photo's courtesy of BBC, CNN and USMagazine